As adults, we all enjoy an alcoholic beverage from time to time. While it’s nice to enjoy an evening at home with a bottle of wine, it’s also nice to go out for a night on the town once in a while. Fortunately, anytime you feel the urge to get a drink, there are plenty of bars to help you out. Oddly enough, a lot of bartenders can look at you and know what you’re going to drink, which is helpful, until you know what they’re thinking about you.Despite popular belief, bartenders actually think it’s extremely silly when people order expensive shots. According to a bartender with 10 years experience, “You look stupid when you order expensive shots. The whole point is to get it down quickly — you’re not enjoying the quality.” Moral of the story? Get a shot of bottom shelf whiskey and call it a night.
You may be surprised to find out that most bartenders absolutely despise making your favorite drink: mojitos. And honestly, you should avoid ordering them at all costs. Mojitos can be a bit tricky to make, especially if you want them to taste good, so most bartenders don’t like making them at all. And when they do make them, they won’t put in much effort “Because they’re a pain in the [expletive] to make,” according to one bartender.
Most bartenders know two things about people who order Long Island iced teas from a bar. For starters, the person ordering is a complete novice and has no clue about the other drinks available. The second reason is that they just want to get as drunk as possible, in the shortest amount of time possible. Their advice? Learn about a few other drinks and consume your alcohol like a grownup.
It’s quite uncanny how much a bartender can tell about a person by the drink they order. This is especially true for people who order a beer with their whiskey. “From my experience, if you order a Bud Light/ Miller Light/ Budweiser with a shot of Bourbon or Whisky, you probably work a manual labor intensive job,” said Modod_ revealed from Reddit.
Apparently, bartenders are so in tuned with their patrons that they can guess what they’re going to drink by what sport they watch. “Soccer fans = Moscow mules, kamikazes, anything with 3 or more ingredients, unless it’s a shot of expensive tequila,” said one bartender on Reddit. Apparently, soccer fans also like a whole bunch of whiskey bright and early in the morning, which really isn’t good for anyone.
Ordering a margarita is a sure sign of one very obvious characteristic of a person. Typically, bartenders notice that older women looking for a good time are the main culprits when it comes to ordering margaritas. “Old ladies that want to party usually start with margaritas,” said one bartender.
Bartenders really can’t stand when someone orders an expensive drink without checking the prices first. One bartender on Reddit revealed: “They want an expensive cocktail and when you tell [them] the price they start arguing with you that it is way too expensive and that they can make it at home for half the price.” Word to the wise: check prices first or drink at home.
Don’t think for a second that just because you order a shot the bartender is going to show you respect. Apparently, ordering sweet shots will have you put in the hipster category as fast as you can say Fireball. “Shots of Chartreuse, Jägermeister, Goldschläger, or Fireball are abhorrently sweet and low on alcohol and tell me that you are a hipster who has no clue what you are doing,” said bartender Jennifer Sun.
Apparently, unless you’re an older person, you should never order a martini. Rodrigo Grudina, who has been a bartender for eight years said: “If a guy is going to a nightclub for young people and orders a dry martini, this guy is in the wrong place.” Well, what happened to freedom of choice? Sorry, martini people, looks like you’re gonna have to stay in the corporate lounge from now on.
A bartender notices one sure thing when someone orders a straight shot of liquor” you have a high tolerance and you’re trying to feel that burn. “Vodka on the rocks: someone who has been drinking long enough to enjoy the nasty burn of watered-down vodka with no mixer,” wrote Reddit user mukkalukka22. Ew, we’re going to definitely pass on that one.
According to a bartender from Reddit, nothing good can come from drinking Bud Light. “As someone that formerly worked at the DA’s office, it seems like all crimes start with Bud Light. Not Miller, not Coors, not tequila, not whiskey, not malt liquor…..Bud Light.” Is it a crime to have bad taste? We think not, but bartenders tend to think differently.
Just like those that order a Long Island, there are two types of people who order an Old Fashioned. One, they know what they’re doing and they’re classy enough to show off. Or two, they actually have NO clue what they’re doing and they’re just trying to look like they’re classy. Either way, bartenders are impressed by people who order this classic drink.
Bartenders know and understand one thing about people who order sweet alcoholic drinks. Most bartenders believe that people who order sweet beverages are a bit too young to be choosing their own drinks. You really shouldn’t be consuming a whole lot of sugar while you’re drinking heavily, so if this sounds like you, ask your bartender for some tips!
If you tend to order vodka drinks, then you should know that your bartender is probably making fun of you. Vodka-girls are the main source of entertainment for bartenders. According to Kyle Siegel, a nine-year bartending veteran, “Friends don’t let friends date vodka-soda girls. Basic girls always order them.” Don’t be basic and get yourself some better taste in alcohol!
Ordering tequila is the perfect way to tell your bartender that your inhibitions are gone for the night. “Ordering a lot of tequila often gives the impression that you’re trying to have a wild night,” says Elena Alvarez, who has two-years bartending experience. So if you’re not looking to be judged for the night, stay away from the tequila.
