Three years ago, I called into work to let them know that I would be coming in late because a headless snake had fallen onto my windshield. It was an untimely event. A large bird, probably an eagle, flew by and opened its talons to release the snake, or at least what was left of it. I was living at my childhood home at the time and no one wanted to touch it. We stood and stared, some of us screamed. Understandable, right? Finally, one of my aunts rushed outside to see what all the commotion was about. She’d always been pretty feisty but it still shocked me when she grabbed the thing with her bare hands and disposed of it. I was about five minutes late that day and no one believed me until I showed them photos. I knew that there had to be other folks with some of their own crazy stories detailing why they were late or had to miss work altogether. It’s hard to tell fiction from reality but sometimes you just have to give people the benefit of the doubt (and in some cases it’s also the legal thing to do). Read through a collection of actual excuses and reasons below and feel free to share your own in the comments section.’I have diarrhea.’ I mean, what can anyone really say to that?
One employee explained that he had to spend the day retrieving his belongings from a dumpster after his wife discovered his infidelity.
Redditor AlwaysDisposable shared the following story about a female co-worker he had at Pizza Hut. ‘One Friday night she calls into work, saying she drove her truck out to the beach and it broke down, so she would be stuck at the beach all night.’ ‘Our manager says, ‘Do you want me to send someone to get you?’ to which she replies, ‘No that’s okay’. The manager says, ‘But how are you going to get home?’ ‘I’ll drive my truck home.’ ‘But isn’t your truck broken?’ ‘Yeah, that’s why I’m stuck at the beach. I can’t come into work.’ ‘But then how are you going to get home?’ and she again says, ‘I’ll drive my truck home later’. … The manager knew better than to argue and just left it at that.’
One of the most upvoted excuses on reddit was this one by magicstuff: ‘Single dad of three teenagers. Each morning: Crawl out of bed. Get cup of coffee. Wake kid #1 up. Wake kid #2 up. Wake kid #3 up. Find clothes for work. Wake kid #2 up. Wake kid #3 up. Tell #1 to hurry up and get out of shower. Get more coffee. Shower. Wake #3 up. Tell #1 to hurry up and get out of shower. Search for shoes, bookbags, belts, etc. Remind #2 to get contacts. Tell #1 to hurry up and get out of shower and find that they’re already finished, but left the light on and door shut and didn’t tell anyone. Get more coffee. Argue with #3 on being too sick to go to school. Wake up #2 that has fallen asleep on the couch. Run through house closing/turning things off. Wait on #3 to use bathroom. Wait on #2 to go get something that’s forgotten. Find #1. Wait on #3 to go get something they’ve forgotten. Finally get in car and leave. The order may change, but that’ pretty much every morning.’
Reddit user Commuter109 had the gall to say, ‘Work just isn’t that important to me.’ My inner skeptic calls BS. Do you know anyone that has actually used this excuse?
People in Netherlands can say, ‘The bridge was up to let a boat pass through.’
We’re not sure about the details but an individual reportedly couldn’t make it into work because their grandmother had poisoned them with ham. Was it intentional? Was it bad cooking? We’ll never know…
There have been a few excuses regarding people who have broken their arm trying to save a pizza or a sandwich. Hope it was the best sandwich you’ve ever had!
According to a survey conducted by CareerBuilder.com, one employee said that his girlfriend threw a pan of hot grits in his face. Ouch!
Once you have kids, everything changes. If your kid is sick, your priority goes to them. Some employees, however, have admitted using this one to have a play day with their little ones.
Land37 commented ‘I have to be here to start opening at 6:30 in the morning, I don’t show up until 6:45 because I can open up and get [everything] ready in 15 minutes rather than 30.’ If that’s the case, wouldn’t the employer just change the time officially (assuming they’re being paid hourly)?
