Relationships are usually tough, but technology can often make things more difficult, especially since we use so much of it. Getting poked on Facebook or getting a text in the middle of the night wasn’t something your grandparents had to worry about. Even though online dating has managed to match people to their perfect mate, something as silly as a phone has had the power to tear a relationship apart. So it’s actually vital that you’re able to recognize the signs, but just in case, we’re going to make it nice and clear for you below.
We’ve had to deal with a jealous significant other at some point in our lives. You get a text from the person when you’re a minute late from work, or they might even inspect an incoming call thoroughly to find out who it was from. Maybe you hit like on someone’s post on Facebook and this made them question everything? Do you have a new online friend that he doesn’t like? If they’re reacting negatively to your innocent online activity, then it might be a sign that you should end things immediately. But what got you into this mess anyhow?
While physical attraction is a huge factor in a successful relationship, there’s more to it than that. People looking for a relationship, prefer someone that they feel comfortable talking to about anything without being judged. Although guys and girls will have their own circle of friends, it’s necessary to realize that when it comes to a one-on-one relationship, there’s more to it than basic sex. There has to be trust and honesty online and in real life. Then again, people can flip their attitude in a snap…
No one said change was easy, but you can’t avoid it. Your partner may ask you to change the way you do things or how you behave, and sometimes, it’s a great way to reflect some of their suggestions back to them. Yeah, you could wash a dish after you use it, but so should they. Perhaps he needs to stop getting angry at you for hanging with your friends. But when you start asking each other to become a totally different person, that’s going a bit too far. Don’t change, unless you’re the embodiment of evil, and if they can’t handle that, then break up. Now let’s talk about phones…
To most people, their smartphones are as sacred as a diary. Of course, you shouldn’t keep secrets from your significant other, but that doesn’t mean you have to tell them all of your personal things, particularly those that are deep and dark desires, when they demand you tell them. You might have a text your best friend sent you, or notes you wrote down to remember at a later day. If they keep asking to check your phone, they’re basically saying they don’t trust you. So just like you wouldn’t share your diary with them, you shouldn’t share your phone either.
“Good lord. Get a room,” is what we often say when we roll our eyes after stumbling onto a post about a couple who is gushing on social media. But just like oversharing about good things can be bad, so can sharing issues on social media. There’s nothing worse than reading posts from a couple who is busy tearing each other apart because of an argument. It’s just embarrassing and immature. So whatever issues you two have, keep it to yourselves. Which is what our next point is all about…
If your significant other cares more about what’s happening online than what’s standing there in flesh and blood, then the relationship is in trouble. Why is he on the phone while you are together in bed? Hello? You never do that! Pissing you off by talking about your personal problems online? Kick them to the curve. If you’re together, you should be loyal to one another and avoid communicating using technology, especially if he or she is right next to you. So put the phone away. Do you still need more convincing?
According to some studies, verbal communication isn’t always as understood as well as written communication, which is a total opposite of what we just said before. But it has its advantages as long as you know how to mix verbal and written communication well. If your significant other is only using emails and texts, then they don’t want to deal with you on an emotional level, and a non-face-to-face dialogue is the best way to do that. Regardless, communicating verbally is necessary and can prevent a misunderstanding, especially since miscommunication can result in the following…
Everyone wants to feel validated, but to what point? Most folks post their relationship statuses or let their family and friends know what’s up so they’ll comment and hit “like” on their current situation. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it can be an issue when it becomes a necessity, such as, “If I didn’t post it online, did it really happen?” This robs a relationship of authenticity and can lead to other issues. So make sure that you’re not sharing things to get a sense of validation, because that feeling only comes from a healthy relationship. But let’s talk about phones again…
Picture being in mid-conversation with your significant other, and that it’s your fifth date. But as you’re enjoying your meal at a fancy restaurant, you noticed that they’re on their phone. It could be that they received an important text from a loved one, like their mom, but he might be checking a dating site, like Tinder. What it comes down to is that the phone shouldn’t be his main priority, you should though. If you’re not a priority to them, then they shouldn’t be a priority either.
Texting can have its pros and cons. For one thing, if texting is the preferred choice of communication, the simplest change in texting behavior can start worrying you. Why are they using so many exclamations? Are they angry? Did they just reply “K” because they’re busy or they just don’t care? This is why talking is more important than texting while in a relationship. If you can’t see each other all the time, then chat on the phone. If your significant other won’t do this, then the relationship is doomed.
Look! No one said it was bad to make some snacks, wear comfy clothes, and sit in front of the TV and binge on Netflix. It’s actually a lazy, but easy date. A lot of introverted couples would opt for this option. But if all your significant other wants to do is hang indoors then there may be something wrong. Are they thrifty? Why don’t they want to try something new? Is there a reason they’re keeping you out of sight? Regardless, you need to find answers to these questions, unless you want to snooze your way through life. Now let’s talk about dealing with hang ups…
In a new relationship, everyone carries over some baggage from their previous relationships. The issues might be big or small. Regardless, you need to figure out just how much you’re willing to put up with those issues before moving further with the relationship. Are they open to sharing what those issues are? If so, then that’s awesome. Are they not addressing you because they’re too busy looking at their phone? If yes, then that’s bad. You need to know your limits and remember that too much baggage is a bad sign.
This next one might not seem like a big deal, but can cause issues further down the line. Now, keeping up appearances for your significant other is important. But you can get a little too comfy when you’ve been together for a while. Maybe he still shaves or grabs whatever he finds on the floor to wear while she takes an hour to get her makeup and hair done. If the other person isn’t willing to make an effort to look nice for you, then there’s a good chance that he or she doesn’t think that you’re worth the trouble. If that were to happen, then here’s what you should do…
When we say “talk” we don’t mean look for an emoji that expresses how you’re really feeling about the relationship. We’re talking about actually having a real conversation face to face to discuss the issues. But don’t talk to your family or friends until you’ve actually spoken to your significant other. Sure, it’s good to get some feedback from your friends, but you’re not dating them. However, if the person you’re with doesn’t want to talk, then it’s time to grab your things and walk away.