Some companies just have rules that defy reason. They make no logical sense when it comes to productivity, safety, and morale. The people who come up with them are usually mini tyrants in power suits. Yet, we either laugh it off or accept the ridiculous protocols just to keep our jobs and pay our bills. Reddit recently asked “what is the dumbest rule at your job?” and the users response did not disappoint. After you are finished laughing, you will thank your lucky stars your boss is not as crazy or bad as these unlucky employees. Unless, of course you can top these.”We’re not allowed to laugh out loud. My boss thinks we’re secretly laughing at her. And yes.” -sharonthoughts
“We are not allowed to refer to the Xerox Machine as “Bob Marley” any more even though it still jams way more than it Xeroxxes. This is because apparently the CEO’s tween daughter came in one day and she got very upset when she thought the staff were keeping her from seeing Bob Marley in real life. She did not know that Bob Marley is dead. This made the CEO got stressed out and yell at us about the nick name.” – ekumenor
“If the microwave and printer run at the same time it trips a breaker that only property management can reset. So whenever anyone microwaves something they have to yell ‘MICROWAVE!’ so nobody prints.” – bromley2
“My last manager (global company) tried to tell us that if she saw us at each other’s desks discussing non- work related things, we had to keep track of those minutes and take them as vacation. She didn’t last long.” -PB_Sandwich
“I’m not allowed to contact mall security or the police without District Manager approval. I could have been just robbed at gun point in my store. My first call is supposed to be my DM to tell them I got robbed and “can I pretty please call the police?” Edit- there’s been some speculation/ questions as to why this rule is in place. The store is a high end retailer, so apparently it’s because they don’t want the negativity that is the police or mall security showing up being associated with the brand.” -thesublieutenant
“If two snacks fall from the vending machine, we have to turn in the extra one or its considered “stealing company property”. Had a manager follow me to the front desk to turn in some cookies last week.” -razlplaz
“Not my current job but, at my old chain restaurant job we weren’t allowed to give cups with bottles of soda. They had to purchase soft drink cups to have cups for their 2 litre and it was ridiculous.”-AmphibiousMeatloaf
“I’m an airline pilot and I get my nail clippers confiscated by the TSA. 5 minutes later, I’m sitting in a cockpit with a literal crash axe behind my seat.” -elacruz
“I work for a very superstitious Korean man. The rules are no red pens, no shaking your legs and no whistling after the sun goes down. These aren’t official ‘rules’, but he gets very serious about these things and doesn’t allow joking about ghosts/the supernatural.” -Blair-s
“Because of some new s**its we got working who don’t understand the concept of not using a phone when there is work to be done, everyone has to put their cell phone in a bucket at 6 P.M. (or whenever the evening rush starts).” -apatheticthegirl
“I’m a librarian. If somebody asks me where anything is, I have to redirect them to the front desk. No matter what. Example of how this is dumb: “Where’s the bathroom?” I’m pretty sure the front desk can help you with that.” -z91x
“You cannot leave 250 miles of the area without getting your request to leave said area approved. And you have to take lots of online and in person classes on how to be safe, not to beat your wife, not to drink and drive, and how to not be stressed out. And wear a reflective belt everywhere.” -t840
“In our small hospital department, there’s on oxygen line with a giant on/off valve that only affects our small department. If there’s a fire, I can’t turn the valve to close it. I have to call the nursing supervisor who is off-site, to come down to the fire and turn it off for me.” -SooMuchSalt
“I’m entrusted with the care of mentally handicapped clients, including being trained in first aid, CPR, and the Heimlich Maneuver…. but apparently changing a light bulb or adjusting the thermostat in the group home where I work is too big a responsibility for me to be allowed to do. Where I work is NOT unionized.” -PianoManGidley
“No mini-fridges on even floor numbers. That sounds absurd, but the kitchenettes are on floors 1 and 3.” -paulllllllll
“Our safety protocol states that if there is a fire and there are wheelchair bound students or employees on the second floor, we are to leave them at the top of the stairs for the fire fighters and emergency personnel to help once they arrive :/ Sooo…. basically they get to burn to death.” -TheDodoBird
“You have to take empty box training to know how to handle boxes that are, you know, empty.” -EinsteinEP
“Gmail is blocked. Facebook & Twitter are not.” -Gizmo-Duck
“We weren’t allowed to sit at my old job. Even though our job didn’t require us to walk, or stand for any reason. We weren’t allowed to sit because a worker in the past once pushed two chairs together and slept.” -DMagis
“Do not throw any personal items in company dumpsters or waste receptacles. All items to be discarded must be taken home.” -Back2Bach
