It’s not everyday a daughter or son gets married. It’s a moment of mixed emotions; on one hand parents are excited for the next step their child is taking into adulthood and of course, the bigger the wedding the bigger the cost. Whoever is paying for the wedding knows too well how quickly things add up. The traditional list of flowers, clothes, food, venue, and alcohol is expensive but seeing the smile and joy it will bring an adult child is worth it for the proud parent. Even if the dad is not the biological father, if he has been physically, emotionally, and financially involved raising the son or daughter, the occasion is just as important and heartfelt. It’s said weddings and funerals bring out the best and worst in people. One man had a rude and painful awakening as the wedding day for his step-daughter got closer and closer.He never married the mother but they lived as common-laws raising her daughter together for the last 10 years. His partner and her daughter have been pouring their heart and soul planning the perfect wedding.
As a new graduate, however, she has been unable to land a new job. Nonetheless, to make sure she gets around easily to apply for employment and go to job interviews the man bought his daughter her own car. She also lives at home with them with no plans to move out till she marries.
Not only was he part of her everyday needs like providing a comfortable home, food, and clothes, he was around for the important things. Everything from helping her with homework, boy issues, or simply going for a walk when she was feeling down.
He was known to avoid any type of responsibility that comes with being an adult and providing for his child.
The mom never went to court to demand child support. She was always more than willing to give the man chance after chance, only to end in disappointment every time. The stepdad was convinced his partner’ “still loves him and wants him in her life.”
He loved his stepdaughter as if she was his own daughter. They didn’t share blood but he didn’t care. He also worked hard in his career so his girlfriend didn’t have to worry about anything.
Like a proud father, the man was paying for the whole wedding. He had made a list of 20 people he wanted invited. His partner and daughter told him that would not be a problem.
The man was embarrassed and confused, he asked his friend if he could double-check it was not just the wedding announcement. Later that evening he received a text from his would-be guest with a photo that clearly showed it was not an invitation. He also noticed his name was not on the announcement but the biological father’s name was on it.
The woman he spent the last ten years of his life told him if anyone was unable to attend they could try to get some people from his side to attend. He said that was the “ultimate slap in the face,” to the people he really cared about.
Yet, he had to hold it together because they were having a rehearsal dinner with the in-laws and a surprised guest. The surprise turned out to be the “real” dad. His daughter was over the moon her father was present.
There was clapping, hugging, and happy tears around the table. All the while the stepdad sat there stunned, hurt, and humiliated. “I don’t think I have ever felt so angry and so disrespected. I was shaking. I took a few seconds to gather my composure, because I honestly wasn’t sure if I would cry or start throwing punches or both,” said the man.
Everyone at the table was smiling. “They have showed me that my position in this family is not what I once thought it was.” He continued as people began to look uncomfortable. “Though I once thought of myself as the patriarch or godfather of the family, commanding great respect and sought out for help in times of need, it seems instead that I hold the position of an ATM, good for a stream of money, but not much else.”
While the room went completely silent, the stepdad finished his drink and kindly told everyone, “You all can let yourselves out.”
His girlfriend called him selfish, his stepdaughter threw several temper tantrums. The wedding planner was brought in to try to bring him to his senses and make him realize what he was doing. Instead, he leafed through the wedding book and saw all the father-daughter dances were songs that were important to the “real” dad. The menu included food he was allergic to. He didn’t feel guilty or bad after seeing this as he understood his role. “All I’ve heard is how it’s the bride’s family that should pay, so, let it be the bride’s family then, aka, not me,” he reasons.