I’m not the kind of girl who has ever appreciated small food on a big plate. To me, what that translates to is either A) Expensive, or B) Overrated. Instead, I prefer robust dishes, home cooked meals, and restaurants that completely eschew the idea of “concept plating.” However, considering the fact that this Instagram chef makes his fancy plates with junk food, I might be willing to reconsider. Chef Jacques Lamerde’s Instagram is dedicated to elaborate dishes that could be seen in any five-star restaurant – if they weren’t made out of America’s best junk food. His account is meant to be humorous, but I think he might be on to something – **As long as he doesn’t charge an arm and a leg for a Hostess.** Check out his corn-syrupy comestibles – and his epic captions – below.
RU PLANNING ON LISTENING TO PHIL COLLINS AND CRYING ALL NIGHT? Y NOT SIT AT THE BAR AND EAT THIS INSTEAD??? HOSTESS CUPCAKE W/ RAINBOW DUNK-A-ROOS, YOGURT RAISINS, SOME NIBZ AND STRBUCKS MOCHA FRAP CAVIAR. TINY MINT AND A PIECE OF FANCY MOSS! #allthesingladies #foodporn #valentinesmenu #soigné #cheflife #chefsofig #truechefs #gastroart #wildchefs #dunkaroos #cupcakes #yogurtraisins #pastrychefsofig #phil4ever #thatmosstho A photo posted by @chefjacqueslamerde on Feb 14, 2015 at 1:42pm PST
BROS BROS BROS!!!! HOLLA AT US IF UR LOOKING TO GET THE MEAT SWEATS 2NITE!!! THIS IS A DUO OF POGOS W/ MARBLE CHEEZE SLICES, HONEY HAM ROSETTES, SPONGEBOB SQRPANTS ZOODLES AND MUSTARD TEARS!!!! #meatsweats #pogos #soigné #foodporn #theartofplating #truecooks #gastroart #hipsterfoodies #plateswagger #honeyham #innovation #chefsofig #finedining #foodart A photo posted by @chefjacqueslamerde on Mar 13, 2015 at 9:57am PDT
WHY NECI INTERN WHYYYY? WHY DID U DECIDE 2 CLEAN THE PACO JET OVER THE DISH PIT AND THEN ACCIDENTALLY DROP IT ???!!!! SUBBING OUR USUAL BUTTERNUT PUREE W/ GERBER BABY FOOD 2NITE!! ALSO JALAPEÑO POPPERS, PEPPERONI STICK BRUNOISE, BIG Y MACARONI SALAD, FLAVOR BLASTED GLDFISH GRAVEL + 63 DEGREE NOMIKU YOLK. #internurfired #foodporn #finedining #gastroart #wildchefs #theartofplating #plateswagger #cheflife #truecooks #jalapenopoppers #nomiku #pepperonistick #rippacojet A photo posted by @chefjacqueslamerde on Mar 19, 2015 at 3:53pm PDT
TOO MUCH FERNET AFTER SERVICE LAST NIGHT !!!! HANDS SO SHAKEY I DROPPED MY FAVE TWEEZERS IN THE NITROGEN AND THEY SHATTERED EVRYWHERE. TWICE!!!! THANK JESUS 4 ALKASELTZRR!!!! DUNKIN MUNCHKINS, BIRTHDAY CAKE OREO SOIL, SNICKERS HACHÉ, SHAMROCK SHAKE FLUID GEL!!! ALMOST 4GOT MOOSETRACKS ICE CREAM QUENELLE!!!! #cheflife #pastrycheflife #americarunsondunkin #gastroart #theartofplating #hipsterfoodies #truecooks #oreos #moosetracks #shamrockshake #seasonal #tweezerproblems #soigné #plateswagger #fernetisthedevil #butitsdelicious!!!! A photo posted by @chefjacqueslamerde on Mar 15, 2015 at 1:49pm PDT
1567 COVERS LAST NIGHT AND OUR POS WENT DOWN AT 5:45. BROS! I WAS SWEATIN BALLS!!! 3 HRS OF SLEEP AND BACK AT! #YOLO!!!! 2NITES SPEC = HAWAIIAN BAGEL BITES, CHEETOS, BABY CARROT + RANCH PURÉE, SMALL VEGETABLES AND CHIPOTLE OIL #foodporn #onthemenu2nite #chefsofig #wildchefs #chefshare #theartofplating #gastroart #hipsterfoodies #truecooks #bagelbites #aloha A photo posted by @chefjacqueslamerde on Feb 21, 2015 at 8:25am PST
BAD NEWS BROS! JOSE GOT HIS THUMB CAUGHT IN THE MEAT GRINDER SO NO HOUSEMADE CHARCUTERIE BOARD 2NITE. GOOD NEWS IS THAT WE SENT HIM TO ST. CHRISTOPHERS W/ A ROLL OF DUCT TAPE AND A FIFTH OF JAEGER AND HES GOING TO BE OKAY! IMITATION CRABMEAT COMPLIMENTED BY SAUCISSE VIENNA, CREAMED STYLE CORN, BBQ POTATO CHIPS, COCKTAIL SAUCE AND OLD BAY. CURLY PARSLEY ON FLEEK!!! #foodporn #imitationcrab #cheflife #chefsofig #hipsterfoodies #theartofplating #gastroart #seafood #wildchefs #truecooks #getwellsoonjose A photo posted by @chefjacqueslamerde on Feb 22, 2015 at 1:55pm PST
STILL EARLY FOR OUR ROOFTOP GARDEN SO HAD TO FORAGE THIS HEIRLOOM “DOLÉ” ARUGULA AT THE PIGGLY WIGGLY. SPAM TORCHON W/ FUZZY PEACHES, WHITE CHEESE BALLS AND NUTS W/ LOCAL GREENS. #foodporn #instafood #spam #fuzzypeaches #wildchefs #chefsofig #saladporn #yeahhhh A photo posted by @chefjacqueslamerde on Feb 7, 2015 at 9:31am PST
??? IF U LUV GUMMI DINOS BROS. PURPLE GOGURT CREMA W/ CHOPPED UP CREAMSICLE AND POWERADE GEL #getsome #foodporn #chefsofig #pastychefsofig #gastroart #truecooks #hipsterfoodies #dessert #chefstalk #theartofplating #gogurt #cheflife #myhardcorecheflife #dinosaurs #thatsafreakintrexbros A photo posted by @chefjacqueslamerde on Feb 21, 2015 at 1:20pm PST
SOMETIMES PPL COME AT ME W/ “BRO, HOW DO U KEEP IT SO TIGHT AND SO SOIGNÉ?!!!” AND MY SECRET IS TO JUST ALWAYS COOK FROM THE HEART, BE REAL AND TAKE INSPO FROM NATURE. I CALL THIS DISH “BUGS ON A STICK” B/C THE CRAISINS R THE “BUGS” AND THE CHEEZE WHIZ/CELERY IS THE STICK. ALSO CELERY SODA CAVIAR, GRAHAM CRKR SOIL, CANOLA OIL PWDR + KALE SHREDS. #foodporn #chefsofig #foodgasm #wildchefs #theartofplating #soigné #truecooks #gastroart #hipsterfoodies #cheflife #nextlevel #bereal A photo posted by @chefjacqueslamerde on Mar 1, 2015 at 9:15am PST
CLASSIC COMFORT FOOD. ON OUR MENU WE CALL THIS “THE HUNGRY MAN DINNER” B/C ITS ACTUALLY A HUNGRY MAN DINNER. (BROWNIE NOT PICTURED!!!) #foodporn #chefsofig #instafood #instachefs #comfortfood #hungrymandinner A photo posted by @chefjacqueslamerde on Feb 7, 2015 at 10:06am PST