She recoiled when her daughter innocently described what she had just discovered. She was afraid she was going to pass out from shock and disgust after she realized what it was. She had spent the entire day messing around with the “soap.” Now that she knew the truth, she grabbed it from her toddler’s hands and threw it out. Then her daughter freaked out!
Ashford Evans totally gets that kids bring home the oddest things. She should know. She has three kids and runs a blog called “Biscuits And Crazy.” In it, she talks about the weird objects her kids bring home, like the time they tried to bring a turtle into the house. Then there was that time when her kids tried eating the stuff in their cat’s litter tray. But this was something she certainly wasn’t prepared for.
Meeny, who’s Evans’s three-year-old son, had just come from his Tae Kwon Do lessons. He practices martial arts there three times a week at a local gym. But only Meeny’s little sister, Eeny, knew what he was actually hiding in his backpack. However, in just 24 little hours, it was going to freak the living daylights out of their mother.
The stranger the object, the more appealing it is for three-year-old Meeny. But there was one object that was really odd. The surfaced was withered, and he loved how waxy it felt in his hand. So, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. There was something special about this seemingly innocent object that would cause his mother to totally flip her lid once the truth was revealed.
Evans came home after a business meeting. It was late, and she was looking forward to a quiet evening. She cherished the rare moments she had to herself. She drank two Big Gulps while driving back from the airport and her bladder was about to burst. So, she dropped her luggage on the floor and ran to the restroom. But as she went inside, she got a whiff of a strong scent.
The smell was somewhat familiar, so she followed it to its source. She quickly realized it was a citrus scent. Then, she noticed where it was coming from. There was an odd object in one of her children’s cereal bowls. But it looked like an orange lump, and yet, she had no idea what was actually on her bathroom shelf.
Evans was puzzled. How did this lump get into her house? She grabbed it and studied it with her thumb. It left a weird waxy residue on her fingers. She decided to bring it close to her nose to get a better whiff. She immediately realized that the scent was fresh grapefruit, and loved it. But she would eventually wish that she hadn’t handled the lump the way she did. In fact, it was something she was going to regret very soon.
Evans couldn’t stop wondering about the mysterious lump in her bathroom. She kept going back to it, handling it, and sniffing it throughout the night. She figured it was a piece of old soap that she had probably forgotten about. Her kids had a bad habit of finding objects that had been lost around the house and leaving them somewhere where she’d find them. The following morning, Evans’ mind was still preoccupied with the unusual lump.
Eeny approached her with the lump against her tiny face. She was taking deep breaths as she held the object close to her nose. As she enjoyed the smell, she said, “This is my favorite. I love the way this smells.” Then Evans asked her daughter, “What IS that? Where did you guys get that?” But boy, was she shocked! It defied belief and was so disgusting. But sadly, it was also way too late to do anything about it.
“Meeny found it in the boys bathroom at Tae Kwon Do and brought it home,” explained Eeny. Evans thought about what her daughter had told her. Then she remembered how she had messed around with the “soap” and pressed it against her nose. Suddenly, the truth became clear, and it was utterly revolting. The mysterious lump was none other than a urinal cake… a used urinal cake.
Evans didn’t waste any time. She grabbed the urinal cake out of Eeny’s tiny hands and threw it into the trash bin. Naturally, Eeny lost it completely! Her favorite object had been ripped away from her, so she started wailing. But aside from the anger on her face, her baby cheeks had started getting red, and tears rolled down her face.
The lovely grapefruit scent now made Evans nauseous, especially since it was everywhere. She thought about how her kids had touched it, and all the surfaces it had been on. Then she realized that thousands of strangers must have soaked the urinal cake, and now, all that residue was everywhere. The thought of it made Evans dry-heave. But there was not time to waste. There were only two options available to her, and she had to pick one fast…
Evans went on her blog, “Biscuits And Crazy,” and wrote: “So clearly our options were 1. Burn the house to the ground or 2. Pretend like it never happened and drink a bottle of wine [or two]. I’ll leave you guessing as to which I chose.” But it doesn’t take a genius to figure out, which choice she picked.
Evan’s post received tons of comments, some of which were either supportive or totally hilarious. A commenter named Emily Lambert wrote: “HAHAHAHA! Oh wow, this is just hilarious! Definitely moment to tell the future husband.” Another reader wrote: “Wow I thought that was a piece of bologna. I didn’t even know what a urinal cake was?!? So, so nasty!!! Now I wonder how many of these my 4 yr old has touched…”
Evans had dealt with the urinal cake situation and moved on, but her husband wasn’t so lucky. He practically gagged when she told him what happened. Then again, no one said raising three kids would be easy. But she seemed to handle this predicament like a boss. On her post, she wrote something that we can all agree with: “…here’s to kids being the most disgusting creatures ever to crawl the face of the earth.”